Communication Evaluation

The one thing that surprised me the most was how my friends evaluated my nerves while public speaking. They felt that I was more comfortable than I really am - inside I want to run and hide. When I am in small groups I tend to have less nerves than in a large group setting. 

What insights about communication did I gain this week?

1) I need to work on not being as sarcastic because not everybody understands it and they could become offended. I was discussing this assignment with one of the managers at work and told her that not using sarcasm is one of the communication goals I have for myself - she said she does not like sarcasm because it is angers ugly cousin. This statement stuck with me and is in the back of my mind every time I say something sarcastic. 

2) Communication is more than engaging in verbal conversations with each other, it is about listening to the other person as well. Listening to others will help build a better relationship. 

Strategies for Effective Communication

1: Active listening: I feel that through the last few weeks I have slowly started practicing this skill but know that I have not mastered it. It will definitely take some time to learn how to tune out your own thoughts and focus 100% on the other person involved in the conversation.

2. Body Language/Facial Expressions: I tend to cross my arms or play with my hands while talking with others, which is considered by most as disrespectful or that I am not listening. My facial expressions have also been mentioned, by others, as being "hard to read." There are times that I squint or scrunch my face when I am trying to understand what is being said - this does not come across to others though.

3. Slowing down: I have been working on slowing down while communicating with others and focusing on what I am trying to say. Sometimes I talk too fast and don't explain myself, so the communication between others breaks down.

Communication

While watching this show without volume I found it very difficult to keep my attention. All of the characters seemed to have a close relationship with each other and were able to use their facial expressions to communicate with each other. There was a particular scene that stood out to me...one character (woman) seemed to have a stern look on her face while talking and looking towards another character (male). This scene was the only one where the characters did not seem to have a positive interaction.

My assumption of that specific scene was off - the woman was not upset at the man at all, in fact she was interested in him. Being able to listen to the interactions helped with my understanding of the characters. The dark haired girl is very sarcastic and seems to take everything as a joke, whereas, the blonde girl was more practical. Her sarcastic jokes might hinder some of the relationships in the long run.

Competent Communicator

There is a particular supervisor in my school that, to me, has mastered effective communication skills/style - mostly while working with families. She is one that I look up to and tend to send my upset family members too. Her voice is calm and has a low-tone to it which tends to relax the energy in the room. This individual can tell you the worst news in the sweetest and most respectful way - which is something I have yet learned how to do. The body language she shows is one of respect and authority (in a good way), she has positive control and facilitation over meetings/conversations.

When those awkward/hard conversations need to happen I try to lighten the mood by making a joke, which I learned this week goes against an ethical communication principle - striving to understand and respect other communicators (O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015). By joking it might upset or confuse whoever is on the receiving end of my message. Of course, this is not a typical communication style I use and is a professional goal of mine. I am hoping this course will help give me other tools to use when the conversations become difficult.

Reference

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3^rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s